“The more you find the good in every situation, the more every situation becomes good.”
― Ari Gunzburg
In times of extraordinary difficulty, a great deal of effort must go into seeking balance. When we are being deluged by toxically discouraging material, redoubling our efforts at finding things that encourage us is critical for our healthy survival. As we and the rest of the world continue to fall into hard – and harder – times, the only way out, as Thich Nhat Hanh once said, is in. “In” is where our deeper awareness lies. Let’s look at what that means:
If you are vociferously consuming news these days, you are either significantly blocked, emotionally, or you’re falling apart from the depth, intensity and enormity of the problems you encounter. If it’s the former, therapy might be helpful; If it’s the latter, falling apart is a reasonable response to the news you are consuming. Let me express that again:
Falling apart is a reasonable response to what is happening today.
Nevertheless, the response, though reasonable, is very painful and destructive – and therefore dysfunctional. The problem is not in our response; it is in the profit driven, over-the-top toxicity of the news, day after day. Many of us find ourselves driven to return, again and again, to it, reconnecting repeatedly with the source of our pain. Sadly, the news media counts on that. But of greater consequence is that things are really that bad. The media may frame it seductively so we keep coming back, but it is really that bad.
The broken state of our country (and planet) is driven by trauma on a global level. We respond out of our own individual trauma to the trauma all around us, which doesn’t work so well. Think about it: There is ample, terrifying evidence that we are headed for a global disaster that could end human life on earth. How does one take that? My observation is that while many of us – including you, I assume – are suffering greatly with that knowledge, even more people are oblivious of what is happening; they are sleepwalking into the disaster.
So, with all of that going on, finding the good is not just a fine idea, it will save us. My belief is that for most of us, nature can do much to restore our equilibrium. It has a number of important healing attributes: There is endless heartbreaking beauty in nature’s incredible variation and intricacy; the natural world has long had stability, having existed according to the same DNA-based natural game plan it always has; and when we pay attention to it, it beckons us out of our neurotic, modern day dysfunction into a healthier, more wholesome way of living that has existed since before history. That last quality is especially precious because nature becomes our guide, taking us into ways of living that would be impossible without it. When we are in nature, we are different, better adjusted and happier, most of the time.
A lot of the good nature can do depends on maximizing our appreciation of it. It is good, of course, to notice an awesome tree. It is much better, however, to take a full minute to engage the heart and marvel at its beauty, strength and intense aliveness. Just as we can be knocked down by unpleasant things, natural beauty can be held in our minds and bodies, during which time it has a healing effect in the same way a painful experience can have an ongoing negative effect on us.
We can also find good in what we find “special.” Maybe it’s art; perhaps it’s beautiful people we know. If it is special, it brightens our hearts and the glow will help sustain us through these dark times. When we’re engaged in pleasurable, meaningful activities, every part of our being benefits: Blood pressure can decrease; racing thoughts can slow down; our outlook becomes more positive and we can enjoy a deeper sense of connection with what’s alive here with us. Dwelling in the special picks up our mood and it is always there, waiting for us.
Another easy way of finding good is through reinterpreting the events of our lives. There is a method of doing psychotherapy, long dominant in the field of psychology, that teaches patients to reframe things. It is called Cognitive Behavior Therapy – CBT – and you are no doubt familiar with it. How we look at things affects how those things affect us. If we find a redeeming aspect to something difficult going on, it gives us an easier grip on it. Phrases like “There is a lot that I’m learning from this” and “But another way of looking at it is…” are vehicles for taking challenges and framing them as useful experiences, which improves our relationships with them significantly. If I can find an overarching justification for the trouble I’m in, it becomes much more than just trouble. It becomes a lesson, an opportunity, even a blessing.
In times when there is so much suffering, the more ways we can turn around the character of the pain, the more we can convert it into something better. When we realize we’re stressed out because we are doing a million things at once, we slow it down. When we are overwhelmed with social obligations, we spend some time alone. Many things do the opposite to us when we stand them on their heads.
Hard times teach us so much. May you find what you need in them!
