We have been educated and conditioned to think of certainty as a kind of positive arrival. We’re taught to reject other competing ideas and alternatives, arriving at what we decide to be the best, or only right way of relating to our situation. We do so in our own subjective way with a conviction that we are correct. It’s my politics, my taste in music, my parenting style, my religion, etc.
We are taught to believe in the certainty of our own way of seeing and understanding the rest of the world. We become attached to it, defend it, fight over it and think of it as somehow qualitatively different from and better than the subjectivities of others. How many arguments have you had during which that was going on?
When we’re absolutely sure, it keeps us from seeing that there is nothing special about our reality and that peace comes from giving other realities equal validity. When we work at dropping our certainty, we become better able to listen deeply and therefore to have a much better shot at resolving our conflicts.
The collective failure to acknowledge the limits of our awareness and to reject certainty have produced incalculable, heartbreaking suffering and destruction. It can be found in the aggression perpetrated by those imprisoned by any form of dogma, including the Crusades, Middle East fighting, the Third Reich and every war ever fought.
The more we allow for the other’s perspective and see our own take as just that, our own, the more room there is for dialogue, which leads to understanding and ultimately peace. Peace is not possible with certainty, other than the certainty that peace is desirable, which is a universal certainty, not a personal one. As you see, this works on the one-to-one level and can affect the health of our relationships. And it happens in huge cultural ways that have added significantly to the pain, fear and suffering that we humans have endured. So whether it’s world peace or a peaceful night with your partner, allow for the limits of what you think you know!
Or, I could be wrong!
