Sometimes a marriage can’t be saved. When there are children involved, there is much hinging on a civil ending and a healthy post-marital relationship. It is frequently necessary to bring the children into the divorce therapy process to minimize damage to them. The truth that is most often missed by otherwise good people is that IT’S MORE IMPORTANT TO LOVE YOUR KIDS THAN TO HATE YOUR EX. That means conditioning yourself to place the emotional needs of your children above your own. Many parents who do that automatically in almost all situations forget about that rule within the emotional pain of a failed marriage. Research clearly indicates that the single most traumatic aspect of a child’s experience of parental divorce is the POST-DIVORCE hostility in all of its dark and toxic forms. So, with divorce therapy, we plot a course that will minimize the negative effects on the children.