BREATH

A long time ago, I read that there’s only one behavior we can engage in completely consciously and completely unconsciously – breathing. While I acknowledge that I don’t have definitive proof of that, I’ve been saying it to patients and meditation students for many years and no one has offered evidence to the contrary. The article in which I read …

COMMON PROBLEMS WITH HIGH END AUTISM

For decades it has been called Asperger’s Syndrome. Several years ago, we began to be refer to it as high functioning autism. Either way, it’s a way of life on a borderline between two profoundly different personality approaches. In contrast to those on the higher end of the spectrum, severely autistic people are profoundly stuck inside themselves. Their reality and …

EMPATHY AND RELATIONSHIP

When I see a new couple in my office, I am frequently given two wildly different stories, each being told by a “victim” about the “perpetrator” sitting on the couch next to them. The sad thing is that when a romantic relationship becomes dysfunctional enough, both parties have lost the ability to see things as they really are. The relationship …

“I’M NOT AN ALCOHOLIC…”

One of the most difficult symptoms of addiction disorders is denial, which is often a big problem. My comments here, for the sake of simplicity, will be directed toward alcohol use, but can and should be easily applied to any other addictive behaviors. Many alcoholics deny that they need help because of how they live their lives around their drinking. …

THE SUBTLETIES OF EX-SPOUSE BASHING

THE SUBTLETIES OF EX-SPOUSE BASHING It is a common cliché that divorce brings out the worst in people. Furthermore, clichés develop because of the truth they contain. Most people I’ve worked with who have had long-term negative feelings toward their exes tell me that the darkness and emotional weight of those feelings are far more toxic and powerful than anything …

“IT’S BETTER TO BE IN A BAD RELATIONSHIP THAN TO BE ALONE!”

On the one hand, it’s completely natural for people to want company. We are a sociable species. On the other hand, we live in a culture that imposes unhealthy and unreasonable demands on us. The message we get? “Being alone is bad and being in relationship is good.” There are, however, many exceptions to that “rule.” First, looking at relationships …

Meditation Trainer

I have found it amazingly fruitful to combine my psychological experience and my ongoing work with meditation. The result is a meditation presentation I can do in a corporate setting. It can be one time only, or ongoing. The idea is that I come in and teach mindfulness meditation in your office or place of business. One of my recent …

Individual Psychotherapy

If you’re coming to me for individual therapy, you have decided that you want changes in your life that you haven’t been able to make on your own. At the beginning of a psychotherapeutic process, there is a dramatic difference between the mindsets of the therapist and the patient. The patient has just reached a difficult breaking point and decided …

Couples Therapy

When a couple comes into treatment, it is a very different process. Whereas there is a back-and-forth dynamic to individual work, a couple’s therapist is more of a mediator, translating and reframing the problems into language that both patients can relate to. The couples therapist also must discover the reasons why the relationship problems developed. There are usually two all-important …

Divorce Therapy

Sometimes a marriage can’t be saved. When there are children involved, there is much hinging on a civil ending and a healthy post-marital relationship. It is frequently necessary to bring the children into the divorce therapy process to minimize damage to them. The truth that is most often missed by otherwise good people is that IT’S MORE IMPORTANT TO LOVE …